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| Best Funny Whatsapp Status |
- Life is Short – Chat Fast!
- Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
- Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..
- I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!
- Save water drink beer.
- Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
- You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..
- I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
- I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..
- Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
- If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
- Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
- I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
- A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!
- When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…
- Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped :)
- Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it
- A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”
- Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
- Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.
- God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me :P
- Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
- When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
- I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
- My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
- Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…
- My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
- If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking :)
- I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
- Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…
- Sometimes its better to bunk the class instead of attending it Cause today wen I look back, my marks never make me laugh but memories d…
- Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
- I Like to study ‘. arithmetic, NO ‘. world history, NO ‘. chemistry, NO ‘. GIRLS, YES!!!
- Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P
- People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p
- In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!
- C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping :)
- Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
- Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
- People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
- Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
- It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
- Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
- When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
- Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
- Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
- We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
- Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
- It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry :)
- I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)
- There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh
- Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
- I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ;)
- My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
- The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight :)
- I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)
- I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
- TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED :)
- I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. :)
- Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
- At least mosquito's are attracted to me.
- Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
- I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
- It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.
- When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
- Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D
- Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
- My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol
- If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
- I am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)
- Today's Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
- I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.
- Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
- The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” :)
- Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
- Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
- Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
- Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
- In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31
- I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. :)
- GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
- I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep :)
- Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) :)
- A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
- When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
- The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love.
- My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
- One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions :)
- I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice :)
- If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
- If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking :)
- I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them :)
- All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
- Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
- Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.
- Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
- I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)
- I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)
- Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
- Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture :)
- The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
- I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won :)
- Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
- How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)
- Nothing is illegal until you get caught :)
- Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
- Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)
- Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.
- The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me :)
- I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something :)
- Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them :)
- God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China :)
- Friday is my second favorite F word.
- For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them ALL.
- Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it’s the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY :)
- I think I got a fever, a fever of you :)
- I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday :)
- Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
- For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept. :)
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
- Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
- Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number :D
- Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
- Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.
- Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.
- I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz
- Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat :)
- It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”
- Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
- If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
- Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n wish you”d ordered that.
- Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.
- My name is I. My problem is love. My solution is you.
- If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror :D
- Caution, Blind Man Driving.
- Milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?
- If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
- The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
- I speak two languages, Body and English.
- How can i miss something i never had?
- BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.
- If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
- I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste :)
- Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
- If you can’t find the key to success, pick the lock.
- Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
- Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.
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