Are you a Funny person?? And want to update your status as funny whats app status and funny Facebook status and make know all people to know about that you are a funny person by sending funny messages to friends and family members. Being funny with others makes you happy and comfortable and the funny things which you did say it through keeping funny fb status and funny whats app status and also have funny quotes to keep it on Facebook.
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| Best Funny Whatsapp Status |
- Life is Short – Chat Fast!
- Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
- Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..
- I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!
- Save water drink beer.
- Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
- You can never buy Love….But still you have to pay for it ..
- I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
- I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..
- Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
- If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
- Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
- I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
- A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
- My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!
- When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…
- Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped :)
- Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it
- A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”
- Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
- Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.
- God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me :P
- Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
- When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
- I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
- My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
- Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…
- My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
- If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking :)
- I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
- Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…
- Sometimes its better to bunk the class instead of attending it Cause today wen I look back, my marks never make me laugh but memories d…
- Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
- I Like to study ‘. arithmetic, NO ‘. world history, NO ‘. chemistry, NO ‘. GIRLS, YES!!!
- Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P
- People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p
- In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!
- C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping :)
- Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
- Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.
- People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
- Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
- It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
- Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
- When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
- Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
- Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
- We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
- Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
- It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry :)
- I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)
- There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh
- Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
- I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ;)
- My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz
- The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight :)
- I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)
- I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
- TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED :)
- I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. :)
- Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
- At least mosquito's are attracted to me.
- Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
- I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
- It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.
- When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
- Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. :D
- Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
- My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol
- If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
- I am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)
- Today's Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
- I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.
- Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.
- The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” :)
- Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
- Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
- Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
- Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
- In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31
- I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. :)
- GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
- I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep :)
- Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) :)
- A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
- When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
- The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love.
- My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
- One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions :)
- I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice :)
- If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
- If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking :)
- I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them :)
- All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
- Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
- Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.
- Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
- I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi :)
- I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat :)
- Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
- Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture :)
- The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
- I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won :)
- Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
- How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)
- Nothing is illegal until you get caught :)
- Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
- Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)
- Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.
- The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me :)
- I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something :)
- Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them :)
- God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China :)
- Friday is my second favorite F word.
- For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them ALL.
- Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it’s the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY :)
- I think I got a fever, a fever of you :)
- I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday :)
- Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
- For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept. :)
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
- Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
- Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number :D
- Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
- Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.
- Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.
- I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz
- Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat :)
- It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”
- Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
- If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
- Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n wish you”d ordered that.
- Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.
- My name is I. My problem is love. My solution is you.
- If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror :D
- Caution, Blind Man Driving.
- Milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?
- If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
- The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
- I speak two languages, Body and English.
- How can i miss something i never had?
- BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.
- If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
- I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste :)
- Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
- If you can’t find the key to success, pick the lock.
- Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.
- One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
- Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.
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